How To Have Self Confidence in the Face of Fear

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3 Ways to Have Self Confidence and Take Courageous Action Toward Creating the Life of Your Dreams

Do you have deep longing for something more in your life, or a dream you’d like to pursue, but fear is somehow holding you back? Perhaps it’s a fear of failure, or of what other people might think of you, or of the changes and challenges that you will face in pursuing your dream.

The truth is, we all have a voice of fear in our minds that pipes up when we start to take bold action toward new life paths and endeavors. Even highly successful people feel fear regularly!

But one of the most powerful traits that highly successful people possess is the ability to move confidently in the direction of their dreams in spite of fear. They feel fear, but they allow the desire to achieve their dream to be greater than the challenges of attaining it, and the fear that accompanies those challenges.

When seeking to create a life you love living, the key isn’t to eliminate fear – it’s to let it be your motivator and guide, not your anchor.

The good news is that you can re-pattern your thoughts and habits so that you feel more self confidence in the face of fear. You can channel your fear into action toward a freer, fuller, happier life you love living!

You can make these changes through what I like to call “brave thinking.” When you adopt a brave thinking mindset, it may surprise you just how quickly and easily you can accomplish really ambitious transformations in your life!

So now, let’s take a look at a few of the ways we can engage in brave thinking to develop self confidence in the face of fear.

Would you love to feel more confident and at ease in any situation?

how to have self confidence abstract person

BRAVE THINKING STEP #1: Acknowledge the power within you

You are a spiritual being having a physical experience in a human body. The part of you that is quintessentially you is comprised of the Infinite, of spirit. In this way, there is a power in you greater than your mind and your body, and greater than any circumstance, situation or condition you will ever find yourself in.

The core of your being can never be harmed or destroyed, and this is a comforting thought in the face of any fear!

Knowing there is a power within you that is breathing your very life this moment, that is separate from your conscious thoughts, can help you practice a powerful technique for re-patterning your thoughts that I like to call “noticing what you’re noticing.”

You are actually able to take pause at any given time, and notice the thoughts you’re having – and then you stop them in their tracks if they’re not serving your greater good.

For instance, when you move to take bold action toward your dreams, you may find in a particular moment that you are having contractive “I am” thoughts, such as “I am afraid.” To think bravely, however, is to notice the temptation to have these thoughts, and reframe them.

In fact, I like to think of the temptation to give energy to fearful thoughts as a dress rehearsal for big problems. If you notice the temptation to say to yourself, “I am afraid” you can pause, and reframe the thought as “a PART of me is afraid right now.”

When you reframe your thoughts, you refuse to give authority to the contractive feeling or thought, which in this example is fear. The part of you that can notice your thoughts is neutral, not fearful, and this part of you decides how much power to give to your fears.

One of the benefits of meditation is developing a familiarity with this part of yourself that will allow you to move specifically and intentionally in the direction toward your dreams.

Remember, we are never denying a fear, we are simply denying its power over us. And when we accept that fear has no power over us other than the power we give it, our self confidence can naturally flourish.

how to have self confidence tiny dancer

BRAVE THINKING STEP #2: Focus on what you’d love

When building our dreams, it’s easy to get caught up in what we think we should be doing.

But when we stand back and ask ourselves sincerely, “What would I love to be, do, have or give in this world?” we are thinking expansively, and are motivated by pursuits that give us life.

Coming from this mindset, the fears standing between us and what we’d love suddenly don’t seem so big or intimidating – because we are thrilled to be pursuing what we love. And when we pursue what we love, we naturally rise the frequency of self love and self confidence, because we are operating as our best selves!

Think about all of the interviews you have heard with Olympic champions. Interviewers always ask the winners, “Were you scared when you competed?” Time and time again the Olympians say, “No! I was excited!”

Here’s the amazing thing about this – your brain doesn’t actually know the difference between fear and excitement because it experiences a similar rush in both cases. So when you notice yourself gravitating toward thoughts of fear, when you have notice the temptation to say, “I am afraid!” try instead to say to yourself, “I am excited!”

When you’re operating from a place of love in your pursuit of success, excitement and joy will be your natural frequency, which you can identify and honor instead of fear.

BRAVE THINKING STEP #3: Have a partner in believing

Having a partner in believing is one of the best actionable ways to increase your self confidence in the face of fears.

A partner in believing is someone who is your advocate in building your dreams – someone who will hold you accountable and help you practice brave thinking, even when it feels challenging.

A good partner in believing is someone you can call or meet up with when you’re feeling fear. This is a person who can remind you of the power within you, and that you can re-pattern your thoughts to ones of greater self love and self confidence.

Because in reality, sometimes even when we are able to notice what we’re noticing, we can’t quite recall how to replace contractive thoughts with expansive ones. This is what a great partner in believing is for!

A partner in believing will have faith and confidence in you even in the moments when you don’t, and can help steer you back to empowering, expansive mindsets.

If you are feeling fear, a partner in believing can remind you to tell yourself, for example, “I am better bigger than this” or “I can have fear, but the fear can’t have me.”

A partner in believing can remind you that when you feel the fear and follow through with something anyway, that you will actually gain immense pride and self confidence, even if you can’t see that from where you’re standing at the moment.

Facing fears actually boosts our self confidence!

Pursuing a dream is not just about reaching a goal, but about gaining confidence in the process. When we take risks, especially if they produce the results we desire, we naturally gain pride and self confidence in ourselves and our own abilities, which only makes us braver in turn!

We grow our confidence when we choose faith over fear and take action to pursue what we love, so over time we actually become less and less prone to fear and more to confidence.

Remember, the goal is not to simply ignore or eliminate fear entirely – this would be impossible! But we can instead make friends with the voice of fear in our minds, reminding ourselves that it doesn’t control us unless we let it. When we are motivated instead of stifled by the voice of fear, we significantly grow our self confidence and move toward the life of our dreams.

Would you love to feel more confident and at ease in any situation?

If so, my free guided audio meditation, “The DNA of Authentic Self Confidence” is for you!

When you listen to this 10-minute meditation, you will…

  • Discover what TRUE, AUTHENTIC confidence really is – It’s NOT based on your past behavior, your history, your talents, or your IQ… it’s based on you loving and valuing yourself fully, and knowing you have something unique and wonderful to share with the world.
  • Begin to quiet the voice of your inner critic – There’s something wonderful and sacred happening with you right now… it’s this thing called life! Knowing this will inspire you to live more fully and freely in the expression of who you truly are.
  • Connect with the incredible power within you that’s far greater than any circumstance, condition or situation that you’ll ever find yourself in! When you live from this truth, you’ll feel completely at ease in your own skin, no matter what situation you find yourself in.


Download your free confidence meditation here now! >>



Categories: Meditation

Comments (8)

  • Nina Llewellyn

    I have recently left my job and feel so much freer to pursue the life of my dreams. My fear is I will relapse into making choices that do not serve my greater good. I promise to say “I am excited” about the future and see how that feels as to be excited allows for infinite possibilities, whereas to be fearful reduces your options. Thank you, Mary, for telling me this right now, and your constant insight. X

  • Nina Llewellyn

    I have recently left my job and feel so much freer to pursue the life of my dreams. My fear is I will relapse into making choices that do not serve my greater good. I promised to say “I am excited” about the future and see how that feels as to be excited allows for infinite possibilities, whereas to be fearful reduces your options. Thank you, Mary, for telling me this right now, and your constant insight. X

  • It’s amazing how strong the temptation can be to dismiss, numb, ignore, and/or eliminate our less-pleasant emotions. They are messages, our friends guiding us to expand and grow, pursuing what we love, and operating as our best selves.

    Thank you for this well-written article that illustrates this so beautifully! The power to transform ones life thru transforming ones self really does lie within!!!

  • These are great tips – thanks for sharing them! You are so right about the impact of overcoming fear on self-confidence. One of the habits I’m working on this year is stepping outside my comfort zone and confronting my fears as often as possible. I took some baby steps at first, but those have raised my level of confidence and gotten me excited about tackling even bigger things. Next week I’m going to confront my fear of heights with a zipline/ropes course adventure, and I can’t wait to see how conquering that expands my confidence even more – once I do one thing I thought I could never do, WHAT ELSE is possible?? Taking control over fear is truly transformational.

  • William Shatner

    Excellent information and advice. I thank you for this Mary. It really hits the point!

  • You have such clarity that helps our inner wisdom guide us back to strength. I am truly grateful to have been given this opportunity.
    Much love and light,


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