How to Let Go of a Painful Past In Order to Start Over in Life

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An Inspiring Easter Lesson on Transition, Real Change and New Beginnings

Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to truly start over? So many of us would love to have a fresh start in life – perhaps in a relationship, career or even our finances.

But sometimes, it can be challenging to let go of our history and memories so that we can enter into a new beginning – a new life.

As a student of world religions for the last 40 years, I’ve spent much time exploring both the historical and metaphysical meaning of Easter. Over one billion people on the planet celebrate this holiday that comes at the time of year when nature begins to spring into new life after appearing lifeless for months.

starting over in life easter

Easter: The metaphysical symbol for rebirth

As the story of Easter goes, Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and laid to rest in a tomb. To all appearances, he had died. Then, after three days, the rock at the entrance of the tomb was moved aside and he emerged, alive and well.

In the same way that opportunities in our lives sometimes seem as though they’ve passed us by, Easter represents the opportunity for a new beginning in which great and wonderful things spring forth.

You see, sometimes we feel like there’s something so big blocking us in life that we’re not able to move forward. It may even feel like a part of us has died, or a part of our lives is gone.

For example, a divorce, a death or the loss of a business can leave us feeling like we don’t have the power to change. A part of our lives is over, and we enter into a period of time in which the old life is gone and there’s no sense of our new life yet.

I refer to this as the middle zone. This middle zone can be a very dark place, and some people stay there for a long time. Others are able to move more quickly through that middle zone and then step into their new lives.

What many people don’t recognize that the middle zone is extremely important to starting over, and they attempt a spiritual bypass. In other words, they don’t allow themselves to face their painful emotions.

However, if you don’t truly acknowledge and grieve the loss, or allow yourself to be in that middle zone for as long as it takes, you won’t be able to truly move forward. Ultimately, the way to heal and move through painful experiences is to embrace the middle zone.

starting over in life woman

A Poem About Starting Over in Life

I have something that’s helped me over the years and today, I’d love to share it with you…

Easter can be a time to celebrate both the historical and the spiritual meaning of this significant day – both the resurrection of Christ and new life bursting forth.

Each and every one of us goes through moments in our lives in which one life seems to end and a new life has not yet started. Today, I highly encourage you to honor the middle zones of your life, and know that not only will life begin again, but it will become better and better.

In the following parable, “Sometimes I Feel,” author, global visionary, humanitarian and founder of The Earthstewards Network (http://www.earthstewards.org/), Danaan Parry writes about the journey that people face when going through great change. I’ve found this piece to be inspirational to me over the years and my wish is that it will be for you, too.

Sometimes I Feel by Danaan Parry trapeze

“Sometimes I Feel” by Danaan Parry

Sometimes I feel that my life is a series of trapeze swings. I’m either hanging onto a trapeze bar swinging along or, for a few moments in life, I’m hurtling across the space between trapeze bars. I’m hanging on for dear life to my trapeze bar for the moment.

But for most of the time, I spend my life hanging on for dear life to my trapeze bar. It carries me along at a certain steady rate of swing and I have the feeling that I’m in control of my life. I know most of the right questions, even some of the right answers. But once in a while, as I’m merrily (or not so merrily) swinging along, I look out ahead of me in the distance, and what do I see? I see another trapeze bar swinging towards me.

It’s empty and I know in that place in me that knows, that this new trapeze bar has my name on it. It’s my next step – my aliveness coming to get me. And, in my heart of hearts, I know that for me to grow, I have to release my grip on the present well-known bar to move onto the new one.

Now, each time this happens to me, I hope, I pray that I won’t have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place, I know that I must totally release my grasp on the old bar, and for some moment in time, I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar.

Each time, I’m filled with terror. It doesn’t matter that in all my previous hurtles across the void of knowing, I have always made it. Each time, I’m afraid I’ll miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks at the bottom of the chasm between the bars, but I do it anyway. Maybe this is the essence of what the mystics call “the faith experience.” No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy. You do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging onto that old bar is no longer on the list of life-giving alternatives.

And so, for an eternity that can last a microsecond of a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void. The past is gone. The future is not yet here.

It’s called transition.

I’ve come to believe this is the only place where real change occurs. I mean, REAL change. Not that pseudo change that only lasts until my old buttons get pushed again. I have noticed that, in our culture, this transition zone is looked upon as a ‘no thing,’ as a ‘no place’ between places.

Sure, the old trapeze bar was real. The new one coming towards me, well, I hope that’s real, too. But the void between is just a scary, confusing, disorienting nowhere that must be gotten through as fast and as unconsciously as possible. What a waste. What a waste.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the transition zone is the only real thing, and that the bars are illusions we dream up to avoid the void where real change occurs.

Now, whether my hunch is true or not, it remains that the transition zones of our lives are incredibly rich places. They should be honored and savored. With all the pain and the fear and the feeling of being out of control that can accompany transitions, they are still the most alive, growth-filled, passionate moments in our lives.

And so, transformation of fear may have nothing to do with making fear go away, but rather giving ourselves permission to hang out in the transition between trapeze bars. Transforming our need to grab the new bar is allowing ourselves to dwell in the only place where real change happens. It can seem terrifying. It can also seem enlightening in the true sense of the word. Hurtling across the void, we may just learn how to fly.

start over in life

This Easter, give thanks for all the many aspects of this wonderful life

There will be periods in your life when you’ll feel as though you’re on a mountain top, times when you’re starting out fresh from a time of being in a transition and even times in which you’re experiencing a loss.

Whichever period you find yourself in today, know that life is always seeking a greater, fuller, expanded version of itself by means of you.

Now here’s a question for you:
As you reflect on your own life this Easter, which phase are you in: mountain top, new beginning or deep in a middle zone? Feel free to share your phase in the comments section below 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

I look forward to hearing from you!

Happy Easter!

Categories: Inspiration

Comments (28)

  • My husband died, six months later my dad died. I lost my home. I went through a brutal hostile lawsuit filed by my pedophile brother to retaliate for my testifying against him. I had no attorney to defend me and was in deep mourning after losing my husband and father. I have a disabled daughter who is dependent on me, we have no one else. I live for my daughter’s sake. I’m torn to shreds. I spent my life taking care of my family. Sometimes the other trapeze isn’t there. This is living hell.

    • Dear Susan,

      I feel for you in your pain. I sometimes wonder how much one person can stand. In the worst times, at the very least, maybe all we can do is demonstrate that there is nothing we can’t survive if we choose. You are not alone – you have your precious gift of a daughter and you must show her that together you will handle any challenges. I have no magic solution, but you can do it one day at a time. You also have me and anyone else reading your story wishing you strength, hope, and happiness. Sometimes the Universe helps in ways we never expected. There is a Rodney Atkins song, If you’re going through hell, keep on moving…” Look up the lyrics and start with gratitude for even just the smallest things in your life. You’re going to be okay.

  • Kelechi junior

    New beginning

  • Susan Hutchison

    Thank you for your inspiring message Mary. Perfect timing as usual :)

  • Just exited a relationship yesterday that I thought was headed to ‘forever’ and I’m a mess right now. Trying to start all over again in my business, but I’ don’t even know how to!

    Your articles have been a lot helpful!

  • I am summing up in a deep transition since I lost completely the whole property, I have very little trouble in the middle part after a few years of returning to life even though a financial sum of a weak ghost in me does not give up I think that such will be summed up live

  • I’m in transition. The loss of a relationship I thought would go the distance. This video definitely helped me. I know there are brighter days ahead. I’m looking forward to a better version of me, and the next level of this journey!

    *I keep playing the video over and over when I go through the valley. You know some moments are better than others during this process.

  • I’ve been flaundering in the middle zone for quite some time. Frustrated – Knowing there’s definitely more For me – justt not knowing quite how to reach it. That’s why I “happened “ on this course. – I need it right now. It will help me get back on track.

  • Gladys Rios

    I am going through a separation. I don’t yet know if a divorce is pending oh, but it is possible. This is my space between trapeze bars. And it is scary. Very scary. But I am trusting in God to help me through the void between trapeze bars. This video was very helpful and very enlightening to me. Thank you Mary Morrissey. And may God bless you.

  • This Easter l feel like am deep
    In the middle Zone

  • I’m stuck in the middle with a broken heart and I don’t think I will ever heal. It’s been months since the break up and it feels like it was yesterday.

  • Margaret Devantier

    Poignant words indeed!

    I’m deep in the middle zone. My finances are stretched paper thin right now. I just made my last payment to LifeSOULutions and every time a payment has come out of my account I’ve thought about the 100% satisfaction guarantee that Mary Morrissey touts – “money refunded if you’re not completely satisfied…..”

    I am NOT completely satisfied because I’m DEEP in the middle zone right now! But I know Mary Morrissey knows the way out!

    So I just want to say, “THANK YOU MARY! For helping me out, even though I’m still in!”

    Your understanding of the laws of the universe provides me with guidance and inspiration.

    Thank you! Thank you!

  • Thank you really inspiring!! I find myself in the void of middle zone … new betingning

  • Diane Cusano

    I feel like I have been in transition for a long time since I’ve left the corporate world I am find myself longing for some signs of solid ground but maybe reading your article if I allow myself to just be present in the transition and honor that so that my soul can grow

    Love light and blessings

  • I just got an amazing job offer, that pays 3- 4 times what I’m making now. At first I knew it was a gift from God and that I manifested it into my life. But then the doubt set in. I am so used to living in poverty, that I don’t even know what it would be like to rise above that. I am super excited for this new opportunity, but there are many changes that need to take place. I am trusting in the process, and I know good things will come of it. But when there are other people involved, like kids, it is a little harder to get them on board and excited about everything. I didn’t even really get to experience a middle Zone, in this situation. Maybe about a week or so, but it was all spent preparing for my trip. So, I’m trying to embrace this new opportunity, because I know deep down that I made it happen myself! And I need to accept this gift and be excited about it, because I did it. I need to suppress all doubt at this point because I am perfectly capable of what needs to be done from here on out! Mary, you have been a huge part of my manifesting journey, and a wonderful support in my life. I love your wealth meditation, and I like to use it most mornings. It helps me to realize that I am in control of my life and my future and my happiness. Next on the agenda… Soul mate!

  • I’m definitely in the middle zone. My 15yr old son was killed in 2009 in a plane crash and although I have struggled to get my life going again I miss him so much that sometimes my plans just fall by the wayside.

  • Thank you for this new perspective on the phases of change. I am excited about thinking my life as being in a state of many new beginnings and most importantly new ways of thinking and being. Creating the most ideal space emotionally, physically and spiritually to cultivate the expansive vision I see for myself and my true purpose. Thank you for the opportunity to contribute my perspective! Very much appreciated!!

  • Merlín Monzon

    En una zona media

  • Mary – this was an amazing Easter post. Thank you- I sent it on to many friends.

  • Beautifully written Mary! Learning to fly is exquisite and as in all things the more you practice flying, the braver you become. Happy Easter 😊

  • i am ready to leave my comfort zone but i do not know in which direction to go… i have no clue what to do

  • Thanks for your words!!!

  • thank you I feel I’m in the middle zone all excited to take my next wonderful step to be me.

  • I´m in deep in a middle zone. Thans so much for your words. Happy Easter too!!!

  • Jusith scott

    Deep in a middle zone

  • Amy Wood

    Deep in a middle zone, somersaulting through the air, not knowing if my head is toward the ground or the sky, toward the next trapeze bar… At times, wondering if it will be there for me to grasp.

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